I know Halloween is supposed to be a little scary, so it was only fitting that mine included a trip to Oklahoma. But not just any part of Oklahoma. No, I’m, talking about the middle-of-nowhere part, somewhere between Oklahoma City and Tulsa. That would be Stillwater, the land of the Oklahoma State Cowboys, who were about to be paid a visit by the Texas Longhorns in what was billed as a showdown of epic Big 12 Conference significance. Or at least a good chance for an upset, which was the rationale behind Sports Illustrated’s assigning me to the game. Epic showdown? Upset? Not so much. Texas 41, Oklahoma State 14.

For a New Yorker, even one who’s been mellowed slightly by fifteen years in Texas, a trip to Oklahoma is rife with opportunities for culture shock. I prepared myself mentally for it by listening to James McMurtry’s “Choctaw Bingo” in a continuous loop for five straight days (which, if you’ve never heard it before, is definitely worth listening to in a continuous loop for five straight days, whether you’re headed to Oklahoma or not). Stillwater, which I’ve taken to calling Lubbock-By-The-Sea due to its comparative proximity to all things aquatic (including indoor plumbing), shares many a characteristic with its windblown counterpart in the Texas panhandle, which noted Texan philosopher Robert Earl Keen once described as being “so flat that on a clear day, you can see the back of your head.”

Gray, dusty, remote, and generally inhospitable to aerobic life, both places make you wonder who in their right mind would drop a perfectly good, not to mention architecturally beautiful, university smack-dab in the middle of it. But the similarities end there. First, Stillwater is within driving distance of civilization whereas Lubbock is within driving distance of…Amarillo. Next, Oklahoma State has a brand, spanking new (and gorgeous) football facility thanks to the personal largesse of T. Boone Pickens, while Texas Tech has a dank, dark pit of a stadium funded by some company named AT&T. And finally, OSU has a pretty decent football team this year. This time last year, Texas headed into that dank, dark pit in the other middle of nowhere and lost to a pretty decent team; if you’re a Longhorns fan, just be happy that the result of this year’s Halloween weekend game wasn’t quite as frightening.